"The human heart does not stay away too long from that which hurts it most. There is a return journey to anguish that few of us are released from making"
Those hurts and pains that we experience in childhood don't just magically evaporate as we grow older. They rumble around in us, and when we have reached a level of strength, maturity, insight, and awareness to handle them, they come up to be worked through. This is one of the ways our inner being is loving to us. It gives us every opportunity to heal the hurts that we need to heal, and it gives us that opportunity when we are strong enough to handle it. Frequently, as children, we have experiences that we simply aren't strong enough to handle without a lot of support and help, and often the support is absent. So we push them down and we wait. When we are ready they come back up. This gives us the chance to work through these old anguishes when we have what we need for the task.
"When I am ready, I will have the opportunity to make these journeys to old hurts with the knowledge that I can heal them and move on ".
Appreciating Our Past
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth.
Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.
Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.
"If you bring forth what is within you, it will heal you. And if you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you."
(from the Gospel of St. Thomas)